Flab v/s flat women

There’s life beyond oversized figures and barely there cleavages... Two women at opposite ends of the spectrum tell Ritu Verma how they hate perfection!
Pushtiie S, Television actor
I love myself; otherwise no one else would. I am much more than my body and enjoy my own comfort zone. I may seem very close to my television avatar (Mahi Talwar) but it’s my spirituality that gives me the strength to accept myself.
Like most plump girls, I also get advice about dieting and losing weight from my aunts. Obviously, they are the ones who still believe that thinner girls make better marriage prospects. When I was young, all this used to offend me, but now it really doesn’t matter.
Among my friends, I was the first to have a boyfriend, so there were no insecurities as such. I had my first boyfriend when I was in class six. This was one of the reasons that the other girls were so jealous of me.
Till now, I rarely get along with girls. Despite not belonging to the gang of stick thin, size zero babes, I still have four marriage proposals at the moment. So, with men, I have been pretty lucky.
At times, you have to compromise when you find out that a pretty dress is not available in your size. However, I don’t let it affect me, I try not to remember it for long.
My genes too are the cause of my being on the heavier side but it isn’t that I can’t lose weight. In fact, I was losing weight quite fast, but I had to hold onto it for my new show.
I wonder at times, if being thinner may mean more opportunities as an actor, but I don’t think so. There are enough thin women around me in the industry, but I am doing better than them. At least, I am different. For me, who I am is more important than how others want to see me.
I took a break from acting about five years ago as I didn’t like the kind of characters offered. I didn’t want to play a hungry girl, who was only eating all the time. A fat girl is not always funny; it was quite boring. I travelled to places like Goa, Dharamsala and Pune. I am a reiki grandmaster and enjoy healing people through alternative therapies, including past-life regression, aromatherapy and herbs. I have international students too. I can also read tarot cards.
You can be plump yet beautiful. Marilyn Monroe was a curvaceous woman. Look at all the Indian goddesses, they all have fuller, voluptuous figures. For me, it is a sign of nurturing and motherhood. Beauty is something that resides somewhere deep inside you. If you are fat or dark, that doesn’t diminish your beauty quotient.
I find perfection boring, once you have reached there, there is no journey ahead. Then it’s better that you go and stand in a museum. Whatever the size, all girls face similar challenges. As a human being, you crave for affection and appreciation, which has nothing to do with your figure. I agree there are some stereotypes, yet I would say the idea of being good-looking is changing. Beauty is beyond ‘shapes’.
Though I am not dating anyone at the moment, I have been with some nice, down-to-earth men in the past. I don’t fall in love so often, as I appreciate men who have a spiritual quotient. I need somebody who understands my spiritual side.
At times, people’s comments can be painful, but I try not to let it bother me... Kuch toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna...!
Farah Khan Ali, Jewellery designer
I have never had a full figure, unlike most Indian women. I never had much of a cleavage. While I was in school and college, my friends had a better bust line than mine, and it used to upset me at times.
I think being busty makes you look older. So I am fine with not having a cleavage. I have touched 40 and look young. The compliments coming in every day prove it. So it’s important to learn to style yourself and maximise you strengths. Now I really don’t think that it makes me in any way less attractive than others.
Many women try push up bras and silicon implants to enhance their breasts, but I never gave it a thought. I am so scared of even taking an injection, so going under the knife is out of question. I never got a tattoo done. I respect and am happy with what God has given me. In future as well, I don’t plan to take any treatment to remove my wrinkles. I want to age gracefully.
I think my best asset is my confidence. As you grow older your confidence level, faith in yourself increases phenomenally. I wish I could have thought like this when I was 19-20. More than my physical attributes, men get attracted to my confidence.
I don’t really believe in this size zero concept. I don’t starve myself, I eat right and exercise thrice a week. One should know one’s strengths and weaknesses. I pick clothes that highlight my assets and not flaws. The idea is to look proportionate. Many people might disagree with me but I really don’t think that attaining perfection is something really exciting. We are not mannequins, after all.
As a youngster, I was a professional dancer with Shiamak Davar’s group and was a good swimmer too. I was quite fitness-oriented and that still helps me. I have a high metabolism rate and do not gain weight easily.
Though I am surrounded with women with great taste and great bodies, I never feel insecure. I never dreamt of having somebody else’s man, jewellery or house. I think they don’t have what I have, and I am happy with it.
When I was pregnant, I gained around 22 kg and was fine with it. While all my friends rushed to lose their post-pregnancy flab, within 3-4 months, I enjoyed it for longer. It helped me enjoy my motherhood more. I started working out after a year, and it took me another year to come back to normal.
Even now, I have told my trainer that I am not a model or competing for Miss Universe, so I don’t want to exert myself. I need enough energy to cope with my two children, my husband and work. At times, I feel I need to lose weight around my thighs, but then I guess people who know me would like to kill me for this!
At times, I am loaded with compliments and other times, the media writes that ‘Oh, she didn’t even bother to blow dry her hair.’ I do that deliberately when I just want to be casual. If I look perfect all the time, how will people notice the best of me?
However, everyone appreciates compliments, but it’s something momentary. These superficial things don’t hold much importance in my life. Even men get bored with dumb blondes soon. Every woman should learn to grow out of her shape, be humorous, educated, well-read. Your body will grow old one day, but not your intellect, your persona that holds the utmost importance for you and your man.
Do Indian male prefer slightly plump women?
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